At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
