This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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