He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
