yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
