Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
