Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
