no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
