Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize