Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
