if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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