She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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