I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
