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We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I need to calm my uterus...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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