This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The Olympian is in my bed
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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