the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
