He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
