I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
