I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
