But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize