John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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