We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
