mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
