i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
