i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
