This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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