She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
