dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We need to get me chipped asap
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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