Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
