Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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