brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
