I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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