went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
