Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
