he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
