He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
