i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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