pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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