ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
