Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
