god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
