Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
