just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
