I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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