I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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