I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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