no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
