i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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