So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
PANTIES FOUND
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize