Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
