oh god the rape fog is back!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
