so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
