just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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