Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
