My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
