So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
