She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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