sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
