Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
