Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
