im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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