You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
